


Sadistic Love

by yeska_noka



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Kis-My-Ft2 (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-07
Updated: 2011-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:40:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24069010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeska_noka/pseuds/yeska_noka
Summary: Another one off the rare pair chart, DONE. It's late, I need to sleep, this is unbetaed, whatever. There were supposed to be parallels and themes and then they just... idk. Never mind. Tamamori might be a little crazy, or maybe they both are. Title from KAT-TUN's song.
Relationships: Fujigaya Taisuke/Tamamori Yuta
Kudos: 2





	Sadistic Love

**Author's Note:**

> Another one off the rare pair chart, DONE. It's late, I need to sleep, this is unbetaed, whatever. There were supposed to be parallels and themes and then they just... idk. Never mind. Tamamori might be a little crazy, or maybe they both are. Title from KAT-TUN's song.

Fujigaya is hot. He knows how to dance and how to sing, but it's not that. It's more that he knows how to take control, how to lead, and when to follow. He knows how to inspire, and he lights a fire within Tamamori, his passion burning bright enough to light their way, and Tamamori wants to do the very best he can to keep up, to stay right by Fujigaya's side.

He sees these same qualities in Kitayama as well, and it's exactly why he knows that Miyata's crush isn't exactly a crush; Tamamori doesn't have just a crush on Fujigaya. He wishes he could follow his own advice and just go for it, but he's too intimated, too afraid to get burned. He thinks about it a lot more now, though, now that Miyata and Kitayama have figured things out. He still spends time with both of them, together or individually, but there's also a lot more time now when he's left to his own devices. He can't say he minds, exactly, since it means he ends up spending more time with Fujigaya, and now he sort of has an excuse. Maybe.

Fujigaya seems pleased with his company, which helps Tamamori to relax about it. They still don't really hang out in their private time, but during work hours, he finds himself talking to Fujigaya more and more. And just as they always say, Fujigaya is a mood-maker. His laughter is contagious, his bright smiles drawing out a grin before Tamamori can stop it, and he feels happy. He feels more alive when he's with him, Fujigaya an exuberant presence that snaps Tamamori from his lethargy and pulls him in, a moth to flame. But Tamamori knows what happens to moths who get to close to the fire and does his best to maintain his distance, even when Fujigaya is leaning on his shoulder for support, shaking from laughter, and Tamamori looks up into his shining face, awash with happiness, and feels his heart stutter.

Tamamori loves Fujigaya's voice, a beautiful ringing that turns right into obnoxious cackling the harder he laughs. He loves the way he curls in on himself when he does it, shaking from the force of his amusement. Fujigaya doesn't hold himself back. Even when he's unhappy, they all know it, Fujigaya whining like a child about everything and anything he doesn't like, but he (usually) sucks it up and deals with it anyway. Tamamori likes this, too. He never has to guess where Fujigaya is concerned.

Tamamori wishes he could be a bit more open himself, and he's trying. He lets himself laugh more freely, ignoring the way his ears burn when people look at him for it, and feels his face heat up for an entirely different reason when Fujigaya grins right along with him.

The problem is, he doesn't have quite the same control that Fujigaya does. Tamamori tends to space out, to let the funny moments glide over him and into memory in the space of seconds, nothing but a small smile to show their passing. Because when he _does_ pay attention, when he _does_ truly let himself feel the moment, he gets swept away with it. It's how he ends up on the floor of the stage during one of their MCs, the audience blurring behind his tears of mirth, but he can't stop. He can hear all of them, the little sounds that don't get caught by the mics, and it's too funny. Nikaido's little snort of laughter and Senga's quiet gasp, Kitayama's soft chuckle. And then Yokoo mutters a sarcastic comment under his breath, but Tamamori can hear that too, and it just renews his giggles. The audience is a beautiful blur of colors, the lights sparkling down at him, and Tamamori feels kind of floaty. He wonders if this is what feeling high is like, everything pretty and funny and perfect.

The top of his mic has a grid that kind of looks like a waffle, and it makes Tamamori wonder what would happen if you poured syrup into it. Would every sound come out slow and sticky, like when they rig their mics for the voice changes? Maybe they'd sound like they were underwater. Syrupy mermaids or something. He looks down at his legs in front of him and imagines a fin. _They could call me Sakana-san, then_ , he thinks, and then laughs at the idea. Definitely just like being high. Probably.

And then Fujigaya is sprawling across him like a welcome present, warm and shaking with his own laughter, and Tamamori thinks it's a sign.

"Have you come to be a fish with me?" he asks Fujigaya, but Fujigaya is laughing too hard to even hear him, and Tamamori forgets the fish in favor of angels, and wonders if Fujigaya can teach him how to fly.

He can at least teach him how to stand, maybe, and Tamamori finds himself back on his feet, not quite sure how he got there. He does his best to refocus on the other members, but he keeps seeing them with fish tails when he glances at them, each in their own color, and it's all he can do to keep from cracking up again. He can't help giggling though; fish totally can't skate.

The music catches him up in it when it starts, and Tamamori lets it pull him along. He dances, he sings, he skates, and it feels perfect, exactly what he's meant to be doing, and he waves as the fans all smile at him, faces shining in excitement, beautiful. But no one is quite as beautiful as Fujigaya, when he grabs Tamamori by the arm in passing, when he sings with him.

"Teach me how to fly," Tamamori tells him off-mic.

"Definitely," Fujigaya responds, whether he knows what Tamamori is talking about or not, and then he's on his mic again, shouting out to the audience and Tamamori hides his own happy grin with his flag.

*****

Back in Tokyo, Fujigaya is busy with his drama, but they have a day for group activities that finishes early, giving him an evening free.

"Come over?" he asks, and Tamamori is surprised, but grateful. Everyone else already has plans.

He doesn't know if concerts are like being high, really, but they're definitely kind of like being drunk, he realizes, lounging back against the side of the Fujigayas' couch and mentally comparing the brightness of their lights to the concert spots.

Fujigaya's brothers are out, Yusuke not coming home for the night maybe, and his parents are doing some dinner and movie thing that will have them home late. Fujigaya himself is pressed up against him, a warm weight along Tamamori's side.

"Hey," Fujigaya says, and places his empty bottle down on the coffee table with a thunk, turning to face Tamamori. "You asked me how to fly?"

"Ah..." Tamamori remembers the moment pretty clearly, and he isn't quite drunk enough to not be embarrassed by it.

"Ah?" Fujigaya nudges him. "What'd you mean by that?"

Tamamori glances up at the light again. "I'm not drunk enough for this," he mutters, and Fujigaya snorts. He does like it when Fujigaya is amused, though, so he says it anyway. "You know, 'cause you looked like an angel."

He's rewarded with laughter, Fujigaya's face scrunching up as he shakes his head. "What? You're weird."

"Mm." Tamamori knows he is, especially because he thinks the way the lights are reflecting off of Fujigaya's hair makes it look like he's wearing a halo. "Sure you're not?"

Fujigaya laughs again. "Yeah, I'm sure." He flops back against Tamamori's side with a grin, legs stretched out under the table in front of him.

They're quiet for a moment, and then Tamamori asks, "Why aren't we sitting on the couch?"

Fujigaya turns his head to face him and looks like he's thinking seriously about it for a moment, and then he grins, and Tamamori grins in return, and then they're laughing. Tamamori isn't honestly sure why he finds it funny, but they're on the floor leaning against a perfectly good couch when they could be sitting on it, and that seems funny, and then he considers the fact that if they were _on_ the couch, they could also potentially fall off of it, and imagining the look on Fujigaya's face as he falls flailing off the couch just makes Tamamori laugh harder. He doesn't really know what Fujigaya is laughing at, unless maybe it's just him, or maybe Fujigaya can read minds, but in any case, he's clutching at Tamamori's shoulder, a happy grin on his face, and then suddenly he's pressing that grin right to Tamamori's.

It's a completely awkward kiss because they're both laughing, _completely awkward_ , and somewhere in the back of his mind Tamamori watches from outside himself as he bangs teeth with Fujigaya and oh god, it's just ridiculous. He loses it completely, pressing his forehead to Fujigaya's and giggling, feeling Fujigaya's huffs of laughter against his mouth.

"Maybe I _am_ drunk," Tamamori manages as an excuse, although he only kind of is.

Fujigaya's laughter subsides and he sighs. "Maybe." And then, after a moment. "Sorry."

"For what?" Tamamori asks, sobering quickly as Fujigaya turns serious.

"I shouldn't have done that," is Fujigaya's answer. "We can't... I can't mess things up now."

Tamamori knows exactly what he's talking about, even if he doesn't say it. Fujigaya is always thinking about Kis-My-Ft2, about his future. About _their_ futures.

"Yeah," Tamamori agrees quietly, because they can't, and he knows it, even if it means that stupid, awkward kiss is the only one Fujigaya will ever give him. "But I really like you," he admits anyway, because it feels like this is his only chance.

"What?"

Tamamori turns his head to find Fujigaya blinking at him. "I like you," he repeats. It's too late to take it back anyway; he knows Fujigaya heard him the first time. He drops his head back against the couch in resignation.

He feels Fujigaya's head hit the cushion next to his, close enough that his hair tickles Tamamori's cheek. "But we could make it work then, right?" he asks. "Right? They did."

Tamamori tilts his head to look at him. "Who, Miya—" He doesn't get any further than that before Fujigaya catches his mouth again, much more serious about it this time. He tastes like the beer they've been drinking, kisses like he's trying to drink Tamamori in the same way. He clutches at Tamamori's shoulder and Tamamori's head spins as his breath is stolen, but he chases after the taste of him when Fujigaya moves to pull away. He said he'd teach Tamamori how to fly.

There's desperation in the way Fujigaya clings to him and Tamamori feels it as well, a first time, a last time, slipping through their fingers. He pushes Fujigaya to the floor, gets a hand tight in his hair and doesn't let go, won't let him stop kissing him, even as their shoulders bang the coffee table and bottles rattle precariously. Fujigaya arches into him, against him, strong and warm, but then he's pushing Tamamori away.

" _Stop_ ," he gasps, and Tamamori can feel his chest heaving where he's pressing down on top of him. "Stop. We can't."

We can. We can't. Which is it? Tamamori doesn't know. He rolls off Fujigaya, squeezing next to him in the narrow space between the couch and the coffee table, furniture legs digging into his side.

"We can't," Fujigaya repeats, and sits up. Tamamori watches as he pushes his hair from his face, sighing. He's still got a halo.

Tamamori closes his eyes. The silence stretches out, and he feels Fujigaya stretch out next to him again. He opens his eyes when Fujigaya takes his hand, interlacing their fingers, but neither of them say anything. Tamamori stares up at the lights, just normal lights, and feels kind of empty.

Tamamori watches the ceiling for what feels like hours, his mind blank. He doesn't feel drunk at all anymore and it kind of sucks, the pleasant buzz gone and leaving behind a hollow feeling in his stomach. He wonders if Fujigaya has fallen asleep, his fingers relaxed between Tamamori's.

"You awake?" he murmurs, not sure whether he wants Fujigaya to be.

"Mm," Fujigaya responds, and doesn't move. He sounds wide awake, but says nothing else.

It's another while before Fujigaya shifts onto his side to face him.

"We could make it work, couldn't we?" He sounds less like he's trying to convince himself, like before, and more like he's asking a real question.

Tamamori sits up, letting go of his hand. He doesn't know. "What time is it?" he asks instead.

Fujigaya sighs. "Almost ten," he answers, and Tamamori blinks. He really _had_ stared at the ceiling for over an hour. He wonders what Fujigaya thought about for so long, or if he was even thinking anything at all.

"We should clean up," Tamamori points out. "Won't your parents be home soon?"

"Their movie only started at 9:15," he says, shaking his head. "They won't be home until near midnight." But he stands up to clear off the coffee table anyway.

They retreat to Fujigaya's room once the bottles have been placed in the recycling bin.

Tamamori's heart sinks to his stomach, falling along with Fujigaya's expression as they settle on the floor. Fujigaya leans back against the side of his bed, and Tamamori is reminded of how they didn't use the couch either. He still doesn't know why they're avoiding the furniture, and can't help a small smile.

Fujigaya smiles in return. "Tama."

"Yeah?"

"You're serious, right?"

Tamamori doesn't need to ask what he's talking about. "Yeah."

"I've thought about it a lot," Fujigaya says. Tamamori doesn't think that "a lot" means just while they were staring at the ceiling.

"I haven't," Tamamori admits. "I didn't think there would be any point."

Fujigaya frowns. "You don't think it'd work?"

"No," Tamamori shakes his head. "That's not what I mean. I just... I thought it was just me. I never bothered to think about it for real because I didn't think it _could_ be real."

"Oh." Fujigaya looks at him for a long while. "Well, what do you think _now_?"

"I think I don't know why you're thinking about it. And that I don't want to mess things up for all of us. But they're kind of unrelated thoughts," Tamamori clarifies. He doesn't know why Fujigaya is thinking about it, but not because he thinks Fujigaya wouldn't ever do anything to endanger the group (although he doesn't), but because he doesn't understand why Fujigaya is thinking about it with _him_.

Fujigaya gets it. "Are you asking me why I like you?" he grins.

"Mm," Tamamori shrugs.

"Tell you later," Fujigaya says, and Tamamori isn't even sure he needs to know why, because it's clear that he _does_ and Tamamori's happy with just that. Fujigaya holds out a hand in invitation. "I'll teach you how to fly?"

Everything will change if Tamamori accepts the offer, and they both know it.

"Okay." He crawls over close enough to take Fujigaya's hand. "Okay."

*****

They shouldn't be doing this, not at all, and they both know it. Fujigaya's youngest brother is home. They heard him shout his greetings when he got back, but the bedroom door is locked and if Fujigaya doesn't care about traumatizing his brother, Tamamori's not sure that he needs to care, either.

Really, it's kind of hard to care about much of anything when Fujigaya is all bare skin pressed up against him, unashamed for once and seemingly pleased to have Tamamori touching whatever parts of him he feels like. Tamamori's planning to touch all of him.

"Can I?" he whispers against Fujigaya's lips, and likes that he can feel the response in addition to hearing it.

"Can you what?"

It's kind of embarrassing to ask, but he makes himself say it anyway. "Can I fuck you?" he mutters.

Fujigaya pulls back a bit to look at him, clearly surprised.

"...What?" Tamamori wonders if he shouldn't have asked, but then Fujigaya gives a short laugh.

"Yeah, alright."

And it feel so good, looks so good when Fujigaya is pushing back against his fingers, spread out across his bed and twisting against the sheets.

"Taipi..." It's better than anything he could have imagined, and he has to bite back a silly little whimper when Fujigaya smirks up at him.

"Tama-chan."

He feels perfect on Tamamori's tongue, hot and smooth when he leans down to taste him. Tamamori explores with his mouth as he works him open, shifting lower to suck at the sensitive skin of his sack. Fujigaya writhes, pleased-sounding gasps of Tamamori's name encouraging Tamamori further. He uses his hands, his mouth, working him over until Fujigaya tugs him up for a harsh kiss.

"'M ready," he says, but then doesn't let Tamamori pull away until they're both panting slightly for air. "Hold on," he says, and nudges Tamamori back enough that he can stand up. He gets a condom from his wallet ("Well, it's not like I usually use them _at home_.") and passes it over. Tamamori refuses to let him help put it on, a good thing because even touching himself already feels pretty amazing.

"You don't want to lie down?" he asks when Fujigaya moves to his knees.

"Maybe later," Fujigaya says, and then glances over his shoulder, grinning. "If you last that long?"

"I will," Tamamori assures. Probably. Maybe. "'Cause I wanna see you."

Fujigaya seems to like that, squeezing his eyes shut for a brief moment. "Yeah," he agrees. "But first like this."

Tamamori kneels behind him and decides that this way is probably pretty good, too. He runs his hands across Fujigaya's back, up over his shoulders, down his sides, and gets a firm grip on his waist. "Okay?"

"Mm." Fujigaya nods and Tamamori can feel his chest expand with a deep breath as he forces himself to relax.

He's still gloriously tight when Tamamori pushes into him, slow and steady, hands soothing at Fujigaya's skin every time he tenses. It takes all his willpower to keep himself from slamming right into him and he's shaking by the time Fujigaya's ass is snug against his hips. "Still okay?" he manages.

"Mmhmm," Fujigaya answers, and he sounds perfectly fine, possibly smug, and then pushes back suddenly enough to make Tamamori nearly lose his balance.

"Ah!" He tightens his grip on Fujigaya's skin, surprise flashing into arousal in the space of a second. " _Taipi_..."

Fujigaya's laugh shakes through both of them and Tamamori groans. "It's fine, you can move."

Tamamori does, slowly, and it feels a whole lot more than fine. Fujigaya is squeezing hot around him, and Tamamori pulls back until he's barely inside of him, lets Fujigaya's body draw him back in, does it over and over until it's torturous to hold back. He wants to make Fujigaya beg, but he doesn't think he can; he gives in first, speeding up when he can't stand it any more. Just a little, just enough, but Fujigaya's knowing hum tells Tamamori it won't happen. It's a frustrating tease.

Fujigaya's hair spills across his shoulders and Tamamori wants to reach down and yank it, pull his head back and make him scream. There's a reason he's the S to Miyata's M, _tsundere_ maybe, but mostly _tsuntsun_ and it's not a secret, really, but he doubts people think of him that way. He reaches down and pushes Fujigaya's hair aside instead, leans down close to mouth at the back of his neck.

"You feel so good," he tells him, kissing his skin. He trails further down to nip at his shoulder blade and imagines where Fujigaya's wings might be. "Even your wings would be pink," he says.

Fujigaya chuckles again, slightly broken now that he's breathing harder. "You don't need wings to fly," he says. "Just wheels."

They laugh together at the shared joke, knowing the truth of it, and pleasure washes hot across Tamamori's skin. He forces himself to still and pulls out carefully.

"Eh?" Fujigaya asks. "What're you...?"

Tamamori pulls him up. "I wanna try something."

Fujigaya goes along with him easily, bracing his hands against the edge of his bed and feet planted firmly on the floor as Tamamori pushes back inside. Their balance is more precarious this way, and Tamamori pulls him up slowly until Fujigaya's back is pressed tight to his chest, one arm coming up to hook around Tamamori's neck for stability. Tamamori wraps his arms around his chest and shifts his hips just slightly, enough that they both grunt with the feel of it.

"Not sure how long my knees are going to hold out like this," Fujigaya warns, and Tamamori holds him tighter, supporting him.

"Just for a bit," Tamamori says. Because he has a lot of images of Fujigaya stored up in his head and he's suddenly thinking about some things he hadn't let himself consider before.

"Do you ever get off on it?" he asks, starting up a slow, shallow rhythm. Fujigaya's breath hitches beneath his hold.

"On what?"

"Performing," Tamamori explains. He doesn't, but then, he's not doing the same kind of performing that Fujigaya is, even in the same concerts. "On your knees in front of everyone. Or wrapped up in chains." Tamamori thinks he'd get off on _watching_ , if the performance were just for him.

"You really are strange," Fujigaya gasps, but he doesn't sound offended. If anything, he sounds like he's suddenly reconsidering himself. "Ah, shit," he says. "Now I'm going to think about this every time." But he groans when Tamamori moves a little faster.

Tamamori guides him so that Fujigaya gets both arms up behind himself, wrapping them around Tamamori's neck. Tamamori kisses his jaw, fucks him harder as he slides his hands across Fujigaya's torso and down, gives his cock just a few strokes, enough to arch Fujigaya into him, to make him squeeze tight around him. He trails his hands back up, up to Fujigaya's raised elbows, then ducks his head out from the circle of his arms.

"Are you..." Fujigaya starts to ask, but then cries out softly when Tamamori pulls on his wrists, forcing him up straighter.

"Do you mind?" Fujigaya's not a pushover and he won't do something if he doesn't want to, so Tamamori is relieved when he says no. He uses his grip on Fujigaya's wrists to anchor himself and leans back a bit, using the hold for leverage and shoving into him. He can see the muscles shift beneath Fujigaya's skin as he strains against the pull on his arms.

"Fuck," Fujigaya groans, and he drops a bit, forcing Tamamori to grab him around his waist again. "I can't... it feels... I can't stay standing up like this," he explains, and Tamamori nods. He's not feeling all too steady himself. They both groan as Tamamori pulls out again.

He moves to push Fujigaya down on the bed, but Fujigaya spins in his hold, turning to face him and then Fujigaya's tongue is sliding hot against his and Tamamori can't breathe. He lets Fujigaya push him down instead.

"Better idea," Fujigaya says, voice low and promising, "and you can still see."

" _Oh_ ," Tamamori breathes, and nearly loses it when Fujigaya throws one leg over his hips. He knows exactly where Fujigaya is going with it, but it doesn't stop him from crying out as Fujigaya sinks down on top of him, his smirk dark and his eyes even darker.

"You wanted me on my knees?" he says lightly, a vivid contrast to the way his eyes are raking sharply across Tamamori's body. He's performing now and they both know it, doing what he does best and loving it. He raises his arms back over his head same as before, arching his back as he lifts up and then drops back down, showing off as Tamamori scrabbles to clutch at his knees. "Like this?"

It's Tamamori's turn to curse. " _Fuck_."

Fujigaya has this move perfected, thighs strong and steady as he raises himself over and over to slide back down on Tamamori's cock with a pleased moan.

Tamamori is pretty sure he really could get off on just watching it, but hearing it, _feeling_ it... his skin burns even hotter than when he's too close to the fire effects, and he's close, so close.

"Taipi..."

Fujigaya still has his arms up, won't break his performance for anything. "Touch me, then," he says, reading Tamamori well enough.

It's a struggle for Tamamori to unclench a hand from Fujigaya's knee and he's pretty sure he's left bruises, but he manages, reaching up to pull him off. Fujigaya tenses the moment he wraps his fingers around him, and then he's fucking up into the circle of Tamamori's hand, eyes closed and mouth open on a beautiful chorus of pants and moans that have Tamamori joining his song.

"Gonna..." Tamamori warns, everything too good all at once and swirling through him in a rush, but Fujigaya shakes his head.

"Just a bit more," he gasps out. "Just a... _ohh_." He grinds down hard, pushing into Tamamori's hand and then he curls, squeezing tight around Tamamori on a low cry, and that's it for Tamamori as well.

It's hard to catch his breath afterward, but that could be because Fujigaya is sprawled out across his chest. Tamamori isn't inside him any longer and he doesn't remember when they moved.

"Taipi?"

"Ugh," Fujigaya whines, and shifts over to collapse against Tamamori's side. "Fuck. I hope you weren't planning on going home tonight."

It's so unexpected that Tamamori laughs. "I hadn't thought about it," he answers, not bothering to ask if Fujigaya is okay when he's clearly fine. "Aren't you supposed to ask that _before_ the sex?"

"Whatever," Fujigaya grumbles. "I didn't have the opportunity."

"Yeah, I'll stay," Tamamori answers. "Let me just tell my mother. Pass me my phone?"

Fujigaya just stares at his open palm and it's only when Tamamori follows his line of sight that he realizes it's the hand he used to get Fujigaya off. He meets Fujigaya's gaze again, still for a moment, and then they both crack up laughing.

*****

"Now who's gross?" Miyata accuses at a photoshoot a few days later, and Tamamori casually thwacks him over the head without answering. They watch as Fujigaya and Kitayama are shoved together yet again, Fujigaya making unhappy faces up until the photographer starts clicking the shutter.

"Them," Yokoo answers instead, lounging in a chair nearby. He nods toward the catering table where Senga is force-feeding _something_ to Nikaido while Nikaido tries to pull his wrists free from Senga's one-handed grip. There's shrieking and laughter as Nikaido breaks away and tries for revenge.

"How long do you think it'll take them to figure it out?" Miyata asks. Tamamori considers it seriously for a second, actually wondering, but before has a chance to say anything Yokoo interrupts.

"About thirty seconds," he proposes. "Nika, Senga!" he calls out. "Tama-chan has something to tell you!"

Tamamori kicks his chair. "Jerk."


End file.
